How to write a Sympathy Card

Sending sympathy flowers to the family of a deceased person is a very caring and comforting act—whether you send a flower arrangement to the mortuary or a plant to the family’s home. Unfortunately, not everyone knows what to write on the card that goes with the flowers. At Visser’s Florist, we are frequently asked for recommendations about what to say on the enclosure card. Here are a few tips and suggestions to help you out:
· The most important tip is to keep it short and sincere. Don’t go on and on just because you don’t know the exact words to say.
· Be sure to handwrite the card and the envelope. This will convey a better sense of caring than if you use a computer.
· If you know a member of the deceased’s family but not the person that died, address the card to your friend.
· Sign the card clearly. Our flowershop gets lots of calls from grieving families that want to say thank you for the flowers, but can’t make out the name of the sender. Also, include your address if appropriate.
There are usually two or three parts to a well-written sympathy card:
1. Acknowledge the loss and convey your feelings. “We are sorry for John’s passing", "Our thoughts and prayers are with you” or something like that is all you need to say here.
2. Personal Memory. If you knew the deceased, include a short personal memory like “Mary was such a caring person, I will never forget her”. Most sympathy cards do not include this section, so if you don’t have a good personal memory, skip it.
3. Offer assistance. This is a tricky area. If you know the family well, you can say something like “Please call me if you need anything, or just want to talk”. If you do not, I would leave it out.
Finally, do not include any uplifting comments like “you’ll get over it” or “Bill is better off now” or “I know how you feel”. You don’t, and they don’t want to hear it. Also, do not dwell on any details of the death. Discussions of cancer or car accidents have no place here.